How Learning Our Moods and Emotions Impacts Our Way of Being

Jun 10, 2014 9:00:00 AM Stephanie Chandler-Simpson Ontological Coaching

moods_and_emotions_Way_of_beingOntological Learning is based on the interrelationship between language, moods and emotions and body.  Where these three intersect is called way of being.

We are emotional beings.  We are always in some mood or emotion. Moods and emotions permeate everything we do. They color how we see and interact in the world.

Different Moods Create Different Possibilities

When we shift from a good mood to a bad mood:

  • The world looks different.
  • We behave differently.  Certain actions are not possible from a particular mood.  If I’m sad it will be difficult for me to go out dancing. 

How many times have we made decisions, good and bad, from a particular mood? Remember that time when you were in the best mood, hanging out with friends and it seemed like a good idea to hmmm maybe

  • Stay out all night on a work night
  • Spend more money than you intended  
  • Get that tattoo!! Well maybe I’m the only one with the permanent reminder of an emotional decision.

Moods and Conversations

My grandmother had a sign hanging in her kitchen that said

“Don’t go to bed mad, stay up and fight”.

Maybe your parents or someone taught you this same thing.  The problem with this advice is it’s difficult to shift the mood when your in it. The right conversation in the wrong mood well… it’s the wrong conversation. If we’re in an argument and the mood is one of resentment and resignation it will be difficult to come to a resolution you should: 

  • Go to bed
  • Sleep on it
  • Call a time out
  • Get naked…probably not a good idea with just anyone
  • Walk away. Do something to get out of the mood. The results will look different from a different emotional place.

 

Awareness = Responsibility

The more aware you can be the more powerful choices you can make. These distinctions come with responsibility.  It’s never a good idea to tell others what you think they should do.  We can never change anyone but ourselves.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself!

Ask yourself, "Am I in the best mood to have this conversation"?

You can also check the mood of others but be responsible for your actions.  So I don’t say to my boss “I can see your in a bad mood so I’ll come back later!”.  I can be responsible by being aware of his mood and taking him to lunch or finishing a project that may help shift his mood before asking for a raise.